Ok, I need help...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cricket ;-)

It appears to be somewhat like a lame(er) version of baseball.

Cricket is a strategic game, it takes 5 days to play one match. Therefore it has some technical terms. (Following my logic here?) There is a field position called Silly Mid Off, if you are batting then you are In, but if you are bowled out, run out, caught out or Leg Before Wicket then you are not In because the Umpire will give you Out. None of this matters really. The thrill of the game is that after five days, if the result is hanging on the outcome of the last few Balls of the Over the amount ofaccrued tension is unbelieveable. Think how exited people get near then end of a sport lasting only a few hours and multiply that by 20. Oh and there also the thrill of having a rock-hard ball thrown at you at over 100 mph ...

Now, is that clearer?

So in essence, the game has no purpose until the last few minutes of it, but it uses confusing and downright strange terminology to make up for a lack of substance during the first four days of a game? ;-)

Its kind of a cult. And its strangely addictive once you start to watch. And there is substance - The international tensions of nuclear powers - say India and Pakistan - can be eased by a good test match.

But you asked the meaning of "stumps". The Stumps are, of course, the Wicket. There are 3 Stumps and two Bails to a Wicket. If your stumps are out, because you've been clean bowled or declared "Leg Before Wicket" or you've been stumped by the Wicket Keeper, then you are Out. If your Bails fall of you are also Out. But you can Appeal, however the bowler's Appeal is often louder and the Umpire will either declare or refer to the third Umpire before declaring.

Its worth noting that if you are Out, it could be the end of the Innings.

-Dave

Cricket is fantastic - and as Dave said the tension that can be created by it is unequalled. Nothing beats a great game of cricket, like some of those Ashes Tests last year between Australia and England.

One thing that is hard for people who are unfamiliar with it to get to grips with is the pace/time frame of the game. It involves a different mindset to other sports because the matches are so long. For example, a batsman can effectively bat as long as he likes. The highest score by a batsman in a test match was Brian Lara, who got 400 not out and batted for 778 minutes! To put this into perspective a score of around 50 is respectable.

Cricket is a great sport for optimists. No matter how down and out your team is they almost always have a chance, even if it is slim. The history of cricket is full of amazing stories of teams, who were on the rack, battling back to secure a win.

I doubt I've clarified the game at all, but hopefully you might be able to see what some of its appeal is. I once spent about an hour trying to explain the rules to a French guy and failed!

As a French, I could not understand all the excitement about cricket when I moved to UK. But my father-in-law and his father-in-law talked a lot about it so I decided to get some interets in cricket. Since then, I like this sport. It's really different from anything else. It's very British and very Commonwealth and I enjoy watching it in real life and on TV.

I agree with Andy, my father-in law tried to explain me the rules and I understood nothing. But the French Cricket Association released a comic on the cricket rules and just by reading it, I realised that it was not so complicated and bought some books the day after to know the rules and the major players.

I remembered one good moment. It was midnight and I was reading a biography about an Indian player. It was written "He took 10 wickets". I didn't know what was a wicket, so the day after I asked my boss, big cricket fan, and all the office laughed at me. I got my revenge after about Petanque that my boss wanted to play in Southern France.

@Asher - baseball is a lamer game of cricket actually (not that I understand cricket or care for baesball) Being a Canuck the ONLY real games are ice hockey (NHL style) and CFL football !

Cricket is huge just like football (soccer as we call it in the US and Canada)

I'd bet more of the world plays cricket than plays baseball (or hockey :( )
That's ok though, as we have lots of players just itching to hit folks with a stick :)

Sounds Violent! Dude, He's taking someone's stumps out! LOL

Seriously, never seen or played cricket, and the terminology is just as greek to me. That said, hope I didn't offend anyone into these sports by these comments.

LOL, my extent of Cricket knowledge is it's a sport that they play every weekend at Assiniboine Park here in Winnipeg...

And they're a really annoying bug... :P

My guess is that it was invented by drunk (and then later hungover) Englishmen :P What else could explain those terms? :)

>>So in essence, the game has no purpose until the last few minutes of it, but it uses confusing and downright strange terminology to make up for a lack of substance during the first four days of a game? ;-)

Aaron: Your comment form has a bug. It swallows everything after two less-than signs :-(

Well, that quote I just posted sounds like my first baseball experience. If you've ever seen one of those "Cleveland Indians" movies with Charlie Sheen, those are a high-speed version. Every change in camera angle is accompanied by ten minutes of wait in real life :-)

So, you don't go to baseball for the game, but rather to eat soda and popcorn and watch the fun and original things a couple of fans do. It's fun once you expect the right thing, though ;-)

Cricket! I am surprised you havent gotten a more detailed answer, nor has the "lamer" comment caused a flame war (yet!!).

Cricket has evolved over the last few hundred years (mainly in england) and has since taken over the lives of millions in the commonwealth. Of course if you want a detailed overview you should checkout the wikipedia entry (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cricket). As for a shorter description:

A cricket match is generally played between 2 teams consisting of 11 players each. There are two main versions of cricket, a test match lasting a maximum of 5 days and a one dayer lasting a maximum of 1 day (approx 6 hours).

The players are categorized as batsmen/bowlers and a sole wicketkeeper, the roles are all interchangeable, (anybody can bat / bowl or keep wickets), though in general most players tend to specialize (if not they tend to called all rounders).

The field consists of a large grassed oval (traditional) with a specially prepared rectangular center strip about 22 yards long called the pitch. On either end of this strip are planted three stumps (cylindrical wooden sticks about 2.5 feet high). This is the basic playing field setup.

At anypoint of time, two batsmen (men with wooden playing bats which are flat-ish) from one team occupy the pitch area on either end (one is the batsman on strike, the other is the runner). The other team occupies the rest of the field in fielding positions as fit. The wicketkeeper is a special fielding postion right behind the batsman on strike. The current bowler (from the fielding team) is entrusted a ball to "bowl" at the batsman with the aim of getting him "out". The bowler generally runs towards the batsman from the other end of the pitch and delivers the ball in a fluid motion toward the batsman on strike. The ball thus delivered must be playable (i.e. within reach of the batsman and not dangerous i.e. not aimed at the head etc). The bowler must also not overstep the bowling crease[line] (22 yards from the batting crease).

The aim of the batsmen is to hit the ball and before the ball is fielded by a member of the fielding team attempt to take "runs" (acheived by running back and forth to the other end of the pitch).

The aim of the bowler and the fielding team is to get the batsman out (and eventually all 10 of the 11 players [two batsmen must occupy the pitch at all times]). There are many ways a batsman may get out, some of them are:

Batsman fails to protect his stumps [The ball delivered by the bowler manages to strike the stumps and dislodges a "bail" (small wooden piece balanced horizontally between two stumps)]

Batsman strikes the ball and the ball is caught by anyone from the other team without having touched the ground once.

Batsman is found to be "Leg Before Wicket" [found to be deliberately or unintentionally blocking the stumps with his legs, rather than the bat, whilst there is reasonable cause to believe that the ball would normally have gone on to hit the stumps].

Batsman is run out [Whilst running "runs" if the fielding team manages to return the ball to either end of the pitch and knocks over the stumps/bails and the batsmen are out of their ground (not inside the creases on either end)]

Of course there are many more less common ways to get out.

There are many types of bowlers, fast, medium, slow and spin. Generally the ball bounces once before reaching the batsman and hence the condition of the "pitch" plays a great deal on the effectiveness of the bowler. There is also the added element of swing (caused by air turbulence) of the ball. Fast bowlers tend to bowl around the 140km/hr mark. Medium bowlers tend to bowl around the 120km/hr mark. Slow bowlers tend to bowl around 100km/hr mark and the spin bowlers tend to bowl around the 70km/hr mark. The spin bowlers tend to impart revolutions to the ball whilst delivering it in order for it to grip the pitch surface and turn either into the batsman or away from the batsman in order to make the ball more difficult to hit.

In a test match each team plays 2 innings (1 inning is defined as getting all 10 wickets [1 player is left stranded in the end]) The two teams have 5 days to finish such a match. Team A plays first and makes "X1" runs before being "all out" [10 wickets down]. Team B then plays, makes "Y1" runs [either achieving a lead or conceding a lead] before being "all out". Team A then plays again and makes "X2" with the objective of taking a lead and setting a target for the last inning. Team B then has the task of making [X1 + X2 - Y1 + 1] runs in order to win the match before losing all 10 wickets. If team A manages to get all 10 wickets before Team B achieves the target then they win. If the 5 days run out before a result is achieved then the match is "drawn".

A one day match is a shorter version of the game popularised recently (since the 1970s). The match is played over 6 hours (3 hours per inning). Each inning is restricted to 50 overs (50 x 6 balls per over). During this period each team A has to make as many runs as they can and then defend the same in the next inning whilst team B has to achieve the target before the number of overs run out and the wickets run out. This version has been popularised due to the fact that results are almost guaranteed (except when matches are called off due to weather reasons).

The rules of cricket are numerous and can easily put of first timers, but people from the commonwealth tend to pick up on the rules from childhood and hence find it difficult to understand why others cant follow it. Personally I tend to find baseball a touch too simple ;-) and love the craft of a cricket match... (hope that was the flame bait).

Cricket is very popular because of the numerous factors that affect the outcome of a game, a rapid succession of falling wickets can put a batting team under immense pressure and then may come a gem of an innings from a hereto unknown player, a bowler who has been plastered around the field may comeback with a spell that devastates the batting side. The magic of spin bowling wherein the bowler attempts to outfox the batsmen by concealing the direction and amount of spin is just a delight to watch.

I wont take any more storage space but sign off by saying its a wonderful game that can be mundane one minute and nail biting the next, it can be between unevenly matched or a great underdog story, it can be the battle of equals it may even end in a last ball "tie" [special case when the two teams are matched on runs but the game is over either having lost wickets or having exhausted playing time].

I guess that wasnt short, what a pity :-)

Oh, as for your questions:

Oh, as for your questions:

What’s a stump - Cylindrical wooden pole about 2.5 feet high, 3 stumps are placed about 2 inches apart in a line on either end of the cricket pitch [2 bails are balanced between the 3 stumps].

Why is it bad to knock one out? - The batsman job is to "guard" the stumps, he is not allowed to knock them out himself [this sort of dismissal is called a 'hit-out']

What does “being given out” equate to in real English? - Thats english by the way ;-). There are two umpires on the field how officiate and declare people out [dismiss them from the pitch, once a bowler has managed get them out by one of the above mentioned methods].

How does one get dismissed for a duck? - If a player fails to make a score and is dismissed then he is out for a duck [There is no official recognition of this term, it was most probably invented by sports commentators]

And if it was during the second Test (which appears to be important, as the T is capitalized), just how many Tests are there? - 1 Test is a fully 5 day match, generally teams tend visit each others country / county to play matches in a tour and they generally agree how many matches to play on tour. There can be any number of matches during tour ranging from 1 - 7 [generally odd numbers so that there can be a judge of superiority if a team wins more than half of the matches]. These days tours generally involve a set of 3 test matches and about 5 one day matches.

@talk2sk -- wow! Thanks for the explanations! :-) And I'm glad no flame wars have been started... I was just being flippant with my language, not trying to be offensive. :-)

As for the "vermeluen" episode that you read about:
Knocking out his stumps after being given out is considered ungentlemanly and is frowned upon as unsportsman-like. They are expected to walk back to the pavillion [Umpires decision is final].

The particular episode in england was because apparently he had been having some "depression" and it wasnt a great season and it wasnt a particularly good day AND there was a spectator who was taunting him and he just broke :-) He abused the spectator and threw something at him at which point he was subdued by officials and led out the stadium. Post these events he was banned from county cricket for 10 years. On appeal and apologies this sentence has been reduced to 1 year [probably a suspended sentence].

@talk2sk: The "lamer" comment was a joke in an attempt to provoke some interesting (and hopefully informative) comments. I don't actually know anything about cricket, and I know almost as little about baseball (national pastime what?). I see that my comment was successful :-)

You guys are all wrong. Crickets work by rubbing their wings together. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crickets :-D